his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
