ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
should my penis look like a turkey
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
