Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
