I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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