So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
