weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
