my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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