so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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