I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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