If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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