it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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