she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
