i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize