just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
