So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
