Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
