Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
