The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
