It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im having a threesome with these popsicles
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
