Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
