just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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