I can tuck mytits in my pants
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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