so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
