can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
