that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
