Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
