I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i think my mom watched the whole time
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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