If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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