Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
