apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
