I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
