Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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