I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
