he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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