How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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