Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
