Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
