u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
