I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
