you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
