i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
