Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
