They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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