I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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