she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
