i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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