i'm lost and i look like a hooker
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
