So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
