If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I need moral support for this bender
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
