R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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