dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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