Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
