I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
