why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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